The Difference in the Death of Two People

I was informed of the death of two people today. One is Michael Jackson, the "King of Pop". The other is Christopher Leggett, an American working in Mauritania. The former will be talked about, the latter will remain unknown but to a few. Both are before King Jesus and have to give account for the life they lived in this life.


The BBC gives the report of Leggett's murder by Al Queda Maghreb in this article.

What I Miss Most of the Woman Known to Most as Sophie Kapitaniuk

To you she was Sophie. To me she was 'Mamy'. 3 months have now gone by since she has gone to be with Jesus. The pain has lessened (as it should), but I still think of her often. Here are a few things I'll miss of my grandmother.

• Her prayer. Daily she prayed. On Sundays, at church she would pray "Lord bless your servant," as the preacher stood. During the week I would drop by and ask her to pray for specific things. I don't know what will be the consequence of her prayers. I also cannot say what will now be the consequences of the lack of prayer, in our family, in our church and in our city.
• Her excitement. Though she was 75 years-old, she was easily glad when she heard stories of people taking risks for Jesus. She loved missions because she loved Jesus.
• Her listening ear. I know many women (and men) tend to become talkers as they age. They go on tangents and you just have to bear with them. Not so with Mamy. She really listened. She loved to offer advice, but she always listened. I miss being able to talk to her. I miss reading the Bible to her.
  
• Her presence. At the birth of my youngest cousin I cried at the realization that she would never know our grandmother. When, God willing, I have children, I will not be able to show them to Mamy. She loved children, and few things made her happier than holding babies.

3 months have come and gone. I still think of Mamy daily. I'm simply glad that her suffering is over and that she is happy now. Her love was God and to himself has gathered her. She is in heaven because she trusted Jesus as her saviour.

Much to say but little time to write

I've been silent for several weeks now. My grandmother's death has had something to do in it, but mostly I've just allowed myself to become tired. When physically tired I'm easily discouraged and can even become depressed. Thank God I know myself now and simply do not allow myself to make life changing decisions when I am this tired, as

my feelings are all wrong.

But I've had much on my mind and much that I would have liked to write about. I just never seem to get around to putting it on paper. I'm preaching in my church this Sunday, so I will be obliged to write. I'll certainly put a summary of my sermon on the blog. It will be on Luke 7, the passage where the prostitute pours perfume on Jesus' feet. Also, rather than try to post my thoughts chronologically, the funeral has been grounds for much thought, I decided to just write.

OK, so death is gain, now what?

I've spent the last month studying the letter to the Philippians. The passage that has attracted most my attention is the following:

 "it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain." Philippians 1:20-21:

I seem to know, realize and appreciate that death is a gain for me. Indeed, death will give me what I cannot have in this world, namely Jesus in full splendour and worth and the ability to appreciate him. In this world, my senses are too dulled by sin to love Jesus.

Now, I must understand what Paul meant by the other part, "To live is Christ". For Paul seemed to express that he couldn't choose between being in heaven with Jesus and staying on earth to bear fruit. For me, the choice is still too easy, so I must seek to understand what he meant.

There is much meaning in the death of young people

My life as I now know is it is only because God has seized me. I've been allowed to know the greatness of Jesus' love on the cross. He died for my sins the death I ought to have died so that I can now live for God.

But God has also used the death of someone else to lead me on the path of life. Through the death a 17 year old I realized that my life was worthless unless lived for God. The first funeral of my life was for a young woman who'd just celebrated her 17th birthday. I was her age and it left me profoundly changed.

Where would I be today if it weren't for the speeding, drunk driver who killed Mikaela on a warm July evening? I'm thankful for the experience of her death, because I shudder to think how I might have wasted my life elsewhere. That I today serve God is by God's grace, that I was able to spend three years on the Doulos is by God's grace that summer evening.

These memories came back to me today because of a conversation I had with Y*, a girl in my class. I was reading a book and she asked if it was the Bible. It wasn't, it's the Confessions of Augustine I replied. This was the start of a conversation that allowed me to discover the hopelessness of my classmate's life. Her mother is a practicing Catholic and she also used to be, she explained. But when she was 17, her best friend was killed in an accident. They were
driving a scooter together and a driver clipped their bike. With a struggle, her friend managed to regain balance, but then hit a post on the side of the road and died on the spot. Y* survived the accident but attempted suicide which caused her to fall into a coma for three weeks. Since then, she knows she'll die when her time has come but doesn't see the need to believe in a God. They were both 17 years old as I was, but our reactions were very different. Y* was turned away from God and I was thrown into his arms.

There is much purpose in the death of our young people. I pray that Y* would see Jesus and choose joy rather than meaningless misery. I don't know who said this, but it is not a tragedy to die. The tragedy is to die and not be ready.

What Am I Doing You Ask? Ask No More!

Upon arrival in France (July 15th), I was convinced I would be in the USA by January 2009 to study in a Bible School. Funny how things can change so quickly. I still love the Bible. I cannot believe that I've not taken the time earlier to know this book God gave.

But as I began to enquire about applying to Wheaton College, I was informed that I would not be able to apply for a January semester as I didn't have any transfer credits. I would have to wait until the August semester. Moody Bible Institute had already accepted me, but I hadn't paid my earnest money, so couldn't just show up. They also require transfer credits to join in January.

So I decided to take a two year diploma here in France. The course is well appreciated by companies and is pretty much just what I've been doing on Line Up with the Doulos... So yup, the studies are pretty easy so far. They take six months to teach what OM does in 2 weeks! :-)

So it is no surprise that I was relieved to be able to take the class while being interned with a company. I applied with BLF Europe (I know I know, my dad works there too), a small French Christian publishing company. I'm back in the book world and am loving it!

The Perfect Deal, Sleeping to Glorify God

It is very frustrating how sleep-dependent God has made me. There must be some good in it. Perhaps to keep me humble as I would be prone to think too highly of my abilities if not hindered by my need for much sleep. I think my body needs more than 9 hours of sleep each day and it will never get them as long as I live.

Yet last week I had to come to a point of surrender. I was so tired and therefore so depressed that I despaired and cried out to God. I basically had to say, "God, you are God and I am not. You are great and I'm puny. You are wonderfully powerful and I am extremely feeble. I need you and you don't. I'm going to bed now, because I'm being a fool and you don't need me. I can sleep and you will continue to work out your wonderful plan for the salvation of your children, the joy of your elect and the glory of your name. Please give me restful sleep, in Jesus' name."

And with that I went to bed, cranky, tired and frustrated at how weak I am. Yet is this not a way to glorify God? To work with all your heart is God-glorifying, but to rest in His sovereignty is also wonderful worship, if done consciously.

So fear not you sleep-deprived generation. Glorify God by sleeping, granted that your life glorifies Him in the first place...

Isn't there more to life than this?

When Does Human Life Begin?

I just read a pretty convincing blog post. Short, but to the point.